2020美国总统大选首场辩论｜两位阿公对决交锋第一战，听完头痛欲裂...

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大家周三安安周三好，昨晚美国总统大选首场辩（撕）论（逼）登场，小妹把全程近两小时的辩论看完，结束的那一瞬间如释重负

听力也万劫不复

没有看完辩论的朋友不必惋惜，因为你其实真的没有错过太多～就算你从头听到尾，主轴总结一下也就是像这样：

#Debate2020 summed up below pic.twitter.com/6bFnOUJobH
— Jeff Lindner (@JeffLindner1) September 30, 2020

这位气象学家因为这条推红了，网友纷纷表示：完美精辟，就是这么杂乱无章，晕头转向。

This is the most appropriate tweet of the night. How very meteorologist-y. I didn’t think I could love you more.
— bynx 🧶🧳🌊💙 (@bynx) September 30, 2020

Perfect. That’s what my head feels like right now. 🤯
— 𝕄𝕚𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕝𝕖 𝔹𝕦𝕣𝕥𝕒 (@MicheleBurta) September 30, 2020

可怜的主持人 Wallace 被骂惨了

整场辩论两位阿公一直在抢话，有好事的记者说 Wallace 要负主要责任...

“他恳求川普尊重这个辩论台，正如爸爸在恳求一个失控的孩子”

Wallace 的内心是这样的：

#Debate2020 Chris Wallace
pic.twitter.com/DmAfuWjzTa
— Chief Samuel Peña (@FireChiefofHFD) September 30, 2020

脱口秀名主持人 Trevor 也为幼儿园老师叫屈，Wallace 的表现让我们意识到幼儿园老师的薪水实在是太低了！

Chris Wallace's debate performance tonight is a great reminder that kindergarten teachers are underpaid. #Debates2020
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) September 30, 2020

小孩子确实是很失控难管啊

他已经拼尽全力，可是连他的同事都嘲笑他：为啥登登可以打断别人讲话，普普这样做就要挨骂？

Why is @JoeBiden allowed to interrupt? @realDonaldTrump is not
— Brian Kilmeade (@kilmeade) September 30, 2020

网友给他支招：你就不知道把他们的话筒关掉静音？！

Not since @Schwarzenegger starred in Kindergarten Cop have the American people seen someone lose control of the circus more epically than Chris Wallace. He should have turned the microphone off
— Steve Schmidt (@SteveSchmidtSES) September 30, 2020

比惨大赛

这位网友表示：这次辩论比撞车还惨烈！

I have been in a car crash, this is worse #Debates2020 #Debate2020
— the 3rd pWAPerty brother (@MidwesternJack) September 30, 2020

跟大火比，哪个更惨？

really enjoying this debate tbh pic.twitter.com/K1BxFV3zpq
— Josh Butler (@JoshButler) September 30, 2020

拜登的大口罩

川普在辩论中嘲笑拜登戴口罩，他说：「我不像拜登一样戴口罩，每次你看到他，他都戴着口罩。而且他说话的时候站的有差不多200英尺远，他戴的口罩也是我见过最大只的！」

网友求买同款口罩：

Where can I order the biggest mask you’ve ever seen? #Debates2020
— Bridget Howe (@howe_b) September 30, 2020

最大的口罩是绿色的吗？

Joe Biden wearing the biggest mask I've ever seen #Debates2020 pic.twitter.com/ZQFpayEOSd
— Nick Nicosia (@NickJNicosia) September 30, 2020

你可以闭嘴吗？

看过的人都知道普普从头到尾抢话，当然登登也不是一直乖乖听着，他也有抢话，一度对普普说：“你可以闭嘴吗？”

.@JoeBiden to @realDonaldTrump: “Will you shut up man...” #Debates2020 #debate #DebateTuesday pic.twitter.com/ANwLgu0hbg
— Jon Nicosia (@NewsPolitics) September 30, 2020

今年大选支持这位 “你可以闭嘴吗？” 候选人！

I know what I'm voting for. Will You Shut Up Man 2020 #willyoushutupman pic.twitter.com/cRWP0z9nRI
— Derek Whitacre (@derekwhitacre) September 30, 2020

希拉里也没闲着。四年前应该花了很大的力气才忍住没说出口～

You have no idea.
— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) September 30, 2020

如果是 Zoom 辩论会就好了

网友表示：我赌10块钱，Wallace 希望下一次辩论是在 Zoom 上进行，这样他可以随时按静音

10 bucks that Chris Wallace requests the next debate to be over Zoom so he can hit the mute button.
— c'est la V (@vianeyevelinn) September 30, 2020

还有人将 Wallace 和他7岁儿子的网课老师做对比：

Chris Wallace literally sounds like my 7 year old’s teacher trying to get their Zoom under control. #PresidentialDebate2020
— Trae Crowder (@traecrowder) September 30, 2020

Wallace 的经历大大提升了网课老师的幸福感：我可以给他们静音，关他们的视频，把他们丢到等候间，甚至踢他们出去

I am a teacher who works on Zoom EVERY single day. I have the ability to mute microphones, shut off camera, send someone to a waiting room, or kick them out for inappropriate behavior.

Chris Wallace should have the same abilities.
— Bailey Brown (@baileystaysposi) September 30, 2020

总之，中心思想是：都闭嘴吧！

Who would have thought the mute button we’ve been screaming for on Zoom for months was really just practice for this #debate pic.twitter.com/I5TPF7pDRB
— Brian Fanzo iSocialFanz (@iSocialFanz) September 30, 2020

史上最烂，没有更烂

根据 CBS 的投票，有83%人表示这场辩论很烂！

很多主持人也毫不留情：这就是一场闹剧，最烂的辩论，这不是辩论，这是耻辱！

Jake Tapper says what we are all thinking: "That was a hot mess. Inside a dumpster fire. Inside a train wreck. That was the worst debate I have ever seen."

Danan Bash adds that it was a "shitshow." pic.twitter.com/EiX8h6zEWQ
— Justin Baragona (@justinbaragona) September 30, 2020

5英里高的 sh*t ?!

We expected a shitshow. We got a shitshow. Nonetheless, I don’t think any of us expected the pile of shit to be 5 miles tall.
— TG221 (@TG22110) September 30, 2020